Be A Wife In Your Single season

“For her price is far above rubies.” 

Being single can be difficult at times, trust me I know. You’re talking to a girl who’s literally never been in a serious relationship. Situationship? Yes but a relationship where we go on dates, watch movies, fall asleep on the phone together? No, never. Sad right? You know what’s even sadder? I had my first kiss at nineteen and hated it. Nothing bad happened, it just wasn’t with the right person and I knew it. But Yet and still I continued to put my lips on him every time we met up for the next two years. Searching and hoping for some kind of spark to find it’s way upon our lips but It never came. All that ever came were tears. Not from heartbreak but from frustration, anger and disrespect. Although I don’t like that I was in such a toxic situation I wouldn’t erase it even if I had the chance. It broke me so bad I had no other choice but to give my life to Christ. He has truly given me the strength, peace and healing I’ve been searching for my entire life. Because of him I now know my worth and the importance of walking in it. Today, I wanna talk about the importance of carrying yourself as a wife even while you’re single.

Be a wife in your singleness. This is something I’m personally working on now. Growing up I NEVER wanted to be married because I never seen a healthy example of a marriage but the closer I get to God, the more I actually want to be. I want my husband and i’s relationship to glorify Jesus in every way possible. I want our marriage to be the reason people we know give their lives to him. In order for this to happen there are things I must work on now, single so when he does come I’ll be ready to not only receive him but also love him the way he deserves. 

Are You Wife Material?

Before you be so quick to answer yes, take a minute and really think about the question. When most women are asked this question we ten to list our accomplishments. We talk about 

• How many degrees we have
• The job we have
• How much money we make
• The car we have
• How we can cook good ect. While these are all amazing things and should definitely be celebrated they don’t necessarily make you wife material. We can have all these things and be a Delilah. For those of you who don’t know. Delilah was a sweet weapon of destruction. The Philistine rulers employed her as a weapon to capture Samson. She is selfish. She is not there for love or the relationship. She is there for herself and what she stands to gain for herself in the relationship. She is an opportunist. Also, she is sometimes in the relationship to prove something to others. Almost everything she does has a selfish motive behind it. She has her own agenda and hardly sacrifices for the relationship. She is captivating, enchanting, exciting and charming. She is beautiful and lively. She has a sweet personality. She knows what a man wants and she knows how to make a man feel good. She is a difficult person to resist. You would love to have her around you always but she will play with your mind and heart. She likes playing games in a relationship. She can make you do things that are against your morals. She lies a lot. I think y’all get the point. Sis is just pure evil smh.

What I’ve learned when men ask this question…

Even before my desire to get married came about. I have always been interested in the male mindset. I find it so intriguing. While some women complain about how stupid men are and how they just don’t understand us. I sit here and think to myself is it that they don’t understand us, or we just don’t take the time to listen and have real conversations? I’m not sure why but I’ve always been The type of girl who wants a male perspective on things. So, whenever I can I ask a man or multiple men that I know a question. Such as what makes a woman wife material?? They’ll break it down for me explaining what we think they want to know vs what they’re actually asking.

• Can you pray for him when he can’t pray for himself?
• Are you COMPASSIONATE?
• Are you slow to anger when having a disagreement?
• Do you respect him?
• Can you love him unconditionally?
• Are you selfless? And most importantly will you be a
• Good mother to his children he plans to have in the future??

Women have such a long list of expectations/wants from a man but the question is…what will you, do you bring to the table??

You Are The Proof

People always say “if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your children. “ I believe in that but God is teaching me in this season…if you can’t do it for yourself do it for those assigned to you. He has given you a message that only you can deliver. I know it gets difficult but if you don’t push through how will they see that there is a God? We can talk about Jesus all we want but some people need to see to believe. You are the proof ‼️

I’m coming up on one year of posting videos on TikTok and it has been quite the journey. From being an introvert to speaking on a platform that has billions of people. Who would have thought?! From not really knowing who I was outside of anger to slowly but surely finding the voice He has given me. From questioning if I actually heard His voice to seeing what He told me to say in news headlines! It’s been wild! Something i’d never imagine in a billion years and if I’m honest, still struggle to understand at times. If you would’ve told seventeen year old me that this would be my life, I would’ve looked at you and told you you’re lying because I didn’t plan to be here. Especially after dealing with narcissistic abuse never thinking it would end. BUT GOD!If you would’ve told seventeen year old me that my relationship with my mother would someday be healthy. It would’ve went in one ear out the other, because in my mind that could never happen. BUT GOD! If you would’ve told seventeen year old me that I’d be excited to become someone’s wife, I’d look at you and proudly tell you with attitude that would never happen because from a very young age I made a vow to myself that I’d never get married because I’ve only ever witnessed toxic relationships. BUT GOD! All of this to say push through YOU ARE THE PROOF THAT JESUS IS REAL ‼️🫶🏽

If He’s Not At God’s Feet

If he’s not at God’s feet. IF HE’S NOT AT GOD’S FEET…I. Don’t. Want. Him!! While this statement can come off as arrogant or maybe even stuck up to some, before you start assuming in your mind I think I’m better than you let me explain. Since the beginning of my walk with Christ back in 2017 I knew I’d have to make some changes, not only in the way I carried myself as a woman but also in the type of men I was attracted to. You see before accepting Christ I was attracted to Fboys. For those of you who don’t know what those are let me be the first to tell you. Stay away sis and I mean far away!! These men, I mean boys, sorry are beyond toxic. Many often confuse them with Bad boys. But believe me when I say there’s a difference. I’ll do separate post Explaining the difference between the two but for now the best example I can think of is “ A Christian man” vs A Man Of God” and before you jump down my throat with comments like how dare you compare Christian men to the world hear me out.

So, as I was saying, when I accepted Christ I knew the F boy had to go. I knew the man I was looking for had to be Christian. I knew he had to love the Lord but what I didn’t understand was the difference between a man who says he loves the lord and a man that actually loves the lord, one who truly seeks Him for guidance, wisdom and instructions daily. I assumed if he said he was a Christian that automatically made him a Man of God. I didn’t understand that having a real relationship with God went way past knowing A few scriptures, singing worship songs and occasionally praying. I didn’t know that saying you’re a Christian was something you just said because it sounds good. This is not me judging anyone because for the first 3 years of my walk I accidentally fell into the deep whole of lukewarmness and couldn’t find my way out which caused me to backslide. So again, this isn’t me judging, I of all people know the struggle. But ladies be honest with yourself. When you think of the man you’re going to spend the rest of your life with what’s he like?? 

• Does he truly love the lord?? And when I say truly love I mean, does this man eat sleep and breathe The word Of God??

• Does he understand the importance of being in the world and listening to the Holy Spirit?

• Does he hold you accountable?? I’m not just talking about in certain areas. I mean in every single Area of your life does he hold you accountable?? When you have a disagreement with your mom does he say do you know what babe, I know your mom is the one who started the fight but I really think you should go apologize and hash things out.

• Does he pray with you instead of just for you??

• Does he love the Father more than he loves you??

• Is Jesus literally his whole entire life or just a part of it? To be more specific is Jesus his lifestyle or just a Sunday morning fling?? And most importantly is he at our Father’s feet??🤔 👀

Four Reasons I Think A Woman Should Write To Her Husband In Her Single Season And Six Ways To Get started

Originally written on December 19, 2020

Writing letters to your future husband has become quite the trend over the last few years. Some people love it others absolutely hate it. I myself am in the middle when it comes to this, I don’t love it but I don’t hate it. Some days it’s fun others not so much it really all just depends on the topic. However it’s very therapeutic for me which is why I think that every woman in their single season should give it a try. If you’re anything like me you’re probably reading this like “ marriage isn’t guaranteed, it isn’t promised that will all get married someday.” I know sis, I know but just hear me out with my reasons on why I think we all should give it a try. At least once.

1. It could be therapeutic– writing letters to my future husband has been shockingly therapeutic for me. I’ve tried journaling in the past but could never get into it. It actually annoyed me to be honest, how and why do people sit for hours writing their emotions in a book?? It never made sense to me but one day back in April of 2019 Jesus told me to start writing so I did. Boy has this change my life. I am not consistent but when I do write I feel so much lighter.

2. It helps me stay pure– I am still a virgin. This is not what I wanted at all, in fact before I came to Christ I would make plans with this one guy to lose my virginity. Jesus would kill my vibe every single time by sending my period on the exact same day as the plans. Or the bus would stop working so he couldn’t get to me. Talk about annoyed. 🤦🏽‍♀️ I now understand why He did it, that guy was not good. Writing these letters reminds me that I want to save myself for one man alone and why.

3. It’s building my trust with Jesus- Now Jesus himself is the one who told me to start writing to my future husband and changed my heart towards marriage in general soooo I don’t think He would do that and not actually give me one. But hypothetically even if marriage isn’t part of his will for my life, writing these letters is helping me know how to trust as well as believe in what I pray for.

4. It’s strengthening my prayer life-Before coming to Christ I only prayed When I wanted something or if I needed him to get me out of a certain situation. Even now as a Christian I don’t know how to go to god about everything, so I write to my husband first then read it back to god.

If you are planning to give this a shot but aren’t sure exactly what to say or how to start here are some suggestions.

• First always date them just in case you read them with him, it’ll be good to see the season God has brought you through and how you handled it.

• Tell him how much you love him and can’t wait to meet him.

• Share current events that are happening in your life good or bad.

• Tell him about the current season Jesus has you in and how you are navigating it.

• Write down prayers for him. You never know they may bless him in the future.

• Share some things the Lord is teaching you with him.

• It’s OK to do a little friendly flirting but always, always keep the letters Christ centered😍

I don’t know about you but I personally struggle with being vulnerable. I prefer to keep everything bottled up but that’s not healthy, especially in marriage. I feel like by writing these letters I already have a safe space and we haven’t even met yet. In these letters God is not only teaching me to be vulnerable but to submit. You may be asking how are you learning to submit through writing letters?? Simple…I’m learning how to let my Guard down, learning how to trust God because I learned that submitting to your husband is submitting to God himself because God called him to lead me but God leads him.